My blog can get pretty serious sometimes, so here is something on the lighter side:
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Friday, October 23, 2009
Monday, September 01, 2008
Earth Shaking Event
An important earth-shaking event is about to occur. Be ready for September 19th, for once again it is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
Be part of the pirate revolution.
Don't be a weak willed lily livered land lubber! Open your mind to the pirate experience, say "Aye" and "Arrr" a few times and soon you will find that your inner pirate will be released.
Follow the simple instructions given here: How to Talk Like A Pirate, practice several hours a day, and by September the 19th you will be indistinguishable from any of the other pirates who show their true mettle on that great day!
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Uncle Sam gives us something back
Usually at this time of year we are bitching and moaning about how much we have to pay to Uncle Sam in taxes (April 15th is drawing near) and the rest of the year we are bitching and moaning about how Uncle Sam is spending our hard earned tax dollars: spending trillions on wars, trillions on maintaining a military presence in 150 countries (total US Military budget), funding ridiculous "science" experiments, etc., etc.
But, good news, Uncle Sam is giving you something for free. Yes my friends, on Sunday (March 9th) you will receive a free one-hour's worth of jet-lag from Uncle Sam! Just spring your clocks forward an hour and it will be just like you flew east one time zone!
Isn't democracy great?
And remember, the time change occurs at 2am, so set your alarm to wake you up in time to spring your clocks forward!
But, good news, Uncle Sam is giving you something for free. Yes my friends, on Sunday (March 9th) you will receive a free one-hour's worth of jet-lag from Uncle Sam! Just spring your clocks forward an hour and it will be just like you flew east one time zone!
Isn't democracy great?
And remember, the time change occurs at 2am, so set your alarm to wake you up in time to spring your clocks forward!
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Incredible new antidepressant (satire)
Pharmaceutical maker, LillyGlaxoWyeth, has just announced the launch of their latest product, Placebozac.
Placebozac (also known my its chemical name "placebo") is an antidepressant that was proven in a recent study to be just as effective as fluoxetine (Prozac), paroxetine (Seroxat), venlafaxine (Effexor) and nefazodone (Serzone). You can read the results of the study by the University of Hull here: "Prozac Doesn't Work"
"The great advantage with Placebozac over the traditional antidepressants," said spokesperson Ima Fake, "is that it doesn't have the usual minor side-effects of psychiatric drugs such as suicide, violent behavior, depression, anxiety, bizarre dreams, emotional numbing, delusions, hallucinations, headaches, heart attacks, hostility, impotence, psychotic episode, paranoia, seizures, sexual dysfunction, homicidal ideation and all the rest. There is even a possibility that if people switch to Placebozac the number of school shootings may decrease. Although, as a member of the pharmaceutical industry, I will say right here and now that antidepressants have nothing whatsoever to do with school, postal or any other kind of shootings, however, our marketing department insisted I mention it."
The new drug will be available soon at only $200 for a bottle of 40, 10mg tablets. In the mean time you can get a sample at a reduced introductory price from your local candy store - just ask for "sugar pills".
Placebozac (also known my its chemical name "placebo") is an antidepressant that was proven in a recent study to be just as effective as fluoxetine (Prozac), paroxetine (Seroxat), venlafaxine (Effexor) and nefazodone (Serzone). You can read the results of the study by the University of Hull here: "Prozac Doesn't Work"
"The great advantage with Placebozac over the traditional antidepressants," said spokesperson Ima Fake, "is that it doesn't have the usual minor side-effects of psychiatric drugs such as suicide, violent behavior, depression, anxiety, bizarre dreams, emotional numbing, delusions, hallucinations, headaches, heart attacks, hostility, impotence, psychotic episode, paranoia, seizures, sexual dysfunction, homicidal ideation and all the rest. There is even a possibility that if people switch to Placebozac the number of school shootings may decrease. Although, as a member of the pharmaceutical industry, I will say right here and now that antidepressants have nothing whatsoever to do with school, postal or any other kind of shootings, however, our marketing department insisted I mention it."
The new drug will be available soon at only $200 for a bottle of 40, 10mg tablets. In the mean time you can get a sample at a reduced introductory price from your local candy store - just ask for "sugar pills".
Monday, August 13, 2007
When Translators Go Wrong
Here's a car you'll want to buy! The Great Wall-Wingle! Yes, it's called a Wingle!
Listen to this: "Bold design of chrome plated grill, infiltrating with the desire to conquer all from inside to outside." Sounds sexy! How could you resist a car described like this: "Fashion in every detail demonstrates innovative design concepts, creative design and avant-garde daring style, without any meaningless decoration. Brilliant achievements in their careers enjoy life passion."
It's a powerful car: "GW2.8TC engine, self-creative power, China’s first high-pressure common rail diesel engine cooperated with Germany BOSCH Company which possesses of world’s leading diesel engine technology."
I'll take two to go! Great Wall-Wingle Intro
Apparently the wording was worser lastest week but it fixed was.
(You'd think they could have spent a couple more bucks - maybe a couple thousand even - to get the copy on their site right.)
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